how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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