please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
