I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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