Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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