he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
