WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
