I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
