how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
being pregnant is like rehab
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize