Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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