Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
