I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
my being single is dangerous.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
