Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
