Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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