remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Success! We fucked roommates!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Shame is for Republicans.
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