i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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