Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize