I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
