It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
