you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
