he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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