you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
