I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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