we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
