whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
