i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
