i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
