she was so not down for the gang bang
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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