New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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