and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Randomize
