thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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