oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
