I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
