Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
