I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
