My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
