My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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