Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
