You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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