I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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