So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I believe in your delicious
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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