I think my vagina is haunted
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
