....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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