Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
