Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
