Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize