Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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