I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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