Nicole vs. Life
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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