Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
