May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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