I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize