sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
