I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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