im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
