Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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