Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
