moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
