i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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