I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
