ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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