She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
