You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My penis needs a shock collar
sex in a hospital.. check
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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