I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
