I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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