hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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