It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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