who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
