I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
