it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
